How do you know if you are doing it right?

Good Morning, Mama’s!!!

I have a lot of thoughts going through my head this morning. I decided to hit up the old Googler-schmoogler and do a little research on mommy bloggers. The top 100 Mommy Bloggers list was very nice. It had the names of the top mommy bloggers from all over the world and how many times they post per week or month or whatever. I even made a list of the ones I thought I might relate to so that I could check them out and see what they have going on. How often do they blog and what do they blog about. I think Scary Mommy is the most popular mom blog ever cause that comes up first on every list. The thing is, its not even just one person anymore. It’s more like a mommy blogging corporation.  I also was looking for mommy bloggers who have gotten divorced as well. I don’t know why I was looking this up but maybe I just wanted to see if all these moms are really as perfect as they seem? I mean, If you ask me, there is no such thing as the perfect mom, right? If you look up the word mom in the dictionary it should say, “Imperfect person trying to raise a  perfect little person or persons .” Is that even possible? Are these just real people, with real lives, and real relationships, and real jobs, and real exhaustion? That would be something I could relate to and if I can relate to it then I would definitely tune every week to read about it. Now that is if you have the time to tune in and read about it cause by definition, Moms don’t have time to do anything but raise kids! lol 😛 Stupid little catch 22, isn’t it?

Am I doing this right?        

How do we know if we are doing this mom thing right? It’s nice to read moms blogging about their lives so that we can see that we are not alone. I mean they are not physically in the room with us but they let us know that what we are going through is not just something that is happening to us but to other mothers as well. None of us are perfect and none of us have perfect kids. We all forget things and get behind on stuff and miss deadlines. We accidentally leave the windows down or forget our wallets in the shopping cart when loading all the kids and groceries into our mini van after a grocery shopping trip. We give 100% even when we are running on coffee and fumes. We don’t want praise or accolades or a ticker tape parade (Although a parade would be nice! lol).  We just want to know that we are not alone. I honestly don’t know what mom’s did before mom blogs, Facebook, and Instagram because I barely have time to spend with my husband and kids let alone have friends! Which brings me to my next question…

Can you still have friends after kids? 

 

What did moms do before blogs, vlogs, and social media? We had good old fashioned friends. Friends that would come drink coffee with you and just talk about everything. Talk about our kids, jobs, and MEN! I miss that more than anything in the world. When I had my first child I was a single mother. It was me and Isaac for almost 10 years. With only one kid and plus being younger, I had more energy to get out of the house and see my friends. My friends still wanted to hang with me at that time because I had just one kid! They would ask if i wanted to go out or go places cause I could find a babysitter for 1 kid or if I visited I didn’t have to bring much with just one kid.  Fast forward to 7 years later and 4 more kids and a husband added to my little but not so little family and no friends. I can’t blame them, really. I don’t blame them at all. I love my children with all of my heart but they are a handful. When I go places I have to bring a big ole diaper bag with a double stroller. To go visit someone requires me to practically pack a whole nursery! My 1 and 3 year old require constant supervision still so it is hard to even have a conversation on the phone, let alone in person. So over the past few years, whatever friends survived Izzie and Lil Will being babies did not survive Nicolas and Samuel. Like I said though, I don’t blame them. Although, I don’t think anything hurts more than when people invite you places and in the same breath tell you “But you have to find a sitter for your kids” or”Your not going to bring the kids are you?” or my personal favorite “Can you just bring Isaac (My 17 year old) and leave the rest with your husband?”. Actually, I take that back. What hurts the most is just to be forgotten altogether. When your friends don’t call or text or come by. When you become isolated to your house with only your kids to talk to because you and your husband work alternate shifts so that your not working to pay for childcare. People say all the time how social media is whats wrong with society today but I strongly disagree. Without my blog or my social media accounts, or my FB groups that I’ve joined (Exclusivley Pumping Mama’s, 30Days of Diastasis Exercises, The Fit Sisterhood, etc) I would probably be the loneliest person in the world. But we have our Husbands, don’t we?

My husband is my friend. <3

Like I said before, Once you have too many kids, it is really hard to maintain those old friendships but if your married, you have a friend for life, right? After looking into all of those blogs about being a mom, I didn’t see too many of the bios say anything about spouses or husbands or whatever. Some were specific about being single but if they didn’t say specifically the single mom or whatever, there was nothing. Why don’t we talk about our husbands or significant others the way we talk about our kids? Now this is something I am literally looking for an answer for because I don’t know the answer. lol Im always fascinated to see YouTube vloggers that work with their husbands or wives. How they seem very like minded in what they do. They are both into fitness or being vegan or just into all the same things. Maybe the reason some people don’t do that is because they and their husbands are not like minded people? Maybe they don’t share similar interests, like say blogging for instance. Or maybe their husbands just like to stay out of the spotlight and just uplift their spouses behind the scenes. Maybe opposites do attract, and that’s ok too. Like I said, I really don’t know. If you know or have any opinions on this subject, just hit me up in the comments! I would love to know what you gals think! Not just on the husband thing but on any or all of this. I look forward to hearing your thoughts! 🙂

Follow Grown As Mama on social media:

3 Replies to “How do you know if you are doing it right?”

  1. I feel like a horrible person reading this.
    I want to cry and hug you and say bring the babies anywhere we go !
    I can relate. Not only do I miss close friends, I miss the “let’s sit n watch tv & drink coffee friends.”
    I have friends but not the what you doin nothing friends. I moved from my home town 3 years ago. After parting from my husband, battling addiction and grieving the loss of custody of my children, times I feel like a piece of forgotten furnature, an arm chair left behind in an old abandoned home that was once beautiful and polished daily . But I enjoyed reading this. It reminded me of the only real hobby iv ever had. Being fit, the getting fit journeys were always fun. Iv been healing and recovering mentally and spiritually. Maybe it’s time I treat my body a bit better. Could relive stress and the getting energy by expending energy thing is real. Thanks for sharing I’m going to keep reading.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *