Thankful To Be Here

       Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful and I really am. I am thankful to be here. Thankful for so many things but that is first and foremost otherwise the rest would be irrelevant. I am thankful for each day that the Lord awakens me. Today was especially wonderful because it is the day after Thanksgiving and there was no school and I did’t have to work so I was able to wake up naturaly. No alarms, no husband, no kids… organic! That has not happened in a while and probably won’t happen again till Christmas break. I’m sure you working moms understand what I’m talking about.

Anywho… I am very thankful. When I was younger, I don’t think I was very thankful for what I had and took a lot of things for granted. As I got older I gained more and have more to be thankful for. My wonderful Hubby and my beautiful and healthy children and also my extended family and friends. The only thing is I worry more now than I ever have before. I worry about losing it all. Life is precious and can be taken away at any moment. My Sister-In-Law passed away this summer. She had battled breast cancer about 6 years ago and beat it but the cancer returned. When I heard I just assumed she would beat it again. She was strong before so she would be strong enough again… right? I thought that in this day and age that even though it would be a hard battle it was a battle that would ultimately be won every time. But sometimes its not about being strong when it comes to cancer. She thought she had the flu and a month later she was gone. She was only 37 years old. She had young children who still needed their mother. I cry every time I think of her.  Thanksgiving was always her holiday and she always invited everyone over. This year was the first year that there was no invite. Antoinette Cooper-Windon, I am lucky to have known you and you will always be missed. Thanksgiving will always be yours.

Starting at the beginning of 2017 I had decided to try and make the most of this year. I would work and I come home and I would work some more and come home.  It is what I found myself saying when people would ask how things were and how was life. I gave birth to my 5th child in January and it was my hardest pregnancy and took the longest to recover from. I felt I had neglected a lot of my motherly duties to my older children due to being pregnant so much in the last couple of years. I told myself I would start to do better. Be a better mother, a better wife, a better person. Try new things and to make time for myself as well. Do better at work. I flew on an airplane for the first time since I was a kid. I went Florida and seen the ocean for the first time since I was a kid. I met my brothers and one of my sisters. Hopefully I will get to meet the other soon. I got to see my cousin for the first time in decades and her beautiful daughter. I met my niece. It was wonderful! I introduced my children to the wonderful world of Six Flags this summer as well. I got a promotion at my job. Then my Sister-in law got sick and passed away.

It scared me so much to know that you could go to the doctor one day and be gone a month and a half later. My boss acted really funny about helping me find coverage in order to take off for those last few days of her life. This holiday season has been especially hard this year at my job. It’s like I work harder an harder and it’s never enough. Just this last week I found out that a guy we just hired a couple of months ago that I trained got a promotion that I had been working so hard for. It broke my spirit. They want you to work your whole life away. The hell with your family or home life. Give your all and maybe we’ll promote you, work these extra days and you’ll soon get a raise, pick up these extra duties and you’ll surely be rewarded. I’m actually starting to believe that my being all about my family and being a young mom may be what is keeping me from being promoted. Well I’m not going to play he fool anymore. I learned one thing from Nette and that is that life is too short and too precious to spend it worrying about the wrong things. I have dreams and they don’t include working myself to death for the man! I want to be happy in my life. I want to live each day like it’s precious and valuable and not to be wasted. That is why I started this blog. I am starting a “Mama” bucket list. I’m going to try to find happiness in everything I do from now on. If I have to work then I will find a job that will make me happy and where I will be appreciated for my extraordinary skill set. I will learn new things for myself and not for some never-ending pipedream that the man tries to sell you so that you will keep killing yourself for the scraps that they throw you. I won’t ever feel bad for being family oriented and not job oriented.

I might have gotten passed over for that promotion but maybe its for the best. Maybe the lord has something better in store for me. Sometimes what you think you want isn’t what you need. I am thankful for what I have.

Live everyday like it’s your last and be thankful that he woke you today. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I am thankful that you read this! 🙂

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